Hand Job Techniques

The following is a listing of techniques to try:

Pressure

With one hand, pull the shaft’s skin toward the base and wrap the fingers of this hand around the base to act as a cock ring. Using the other hand, rhythmically pick various points along the shaft of the penis and squeeze opposite sides of the penile shaft at these points, releasing pressure either immediately or after only a brief period of time.

Fire

Rub the penis between both palms, as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of oil.

Glans Head Massage

Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-oiled palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the glans head. Reverse directions every once in a while.

Healing Stroke

With the penis resting on the man’s stomach, take one hand and cup the testicles. Then glide the heel of the palm of the other hand up and down the underside of the penis.

Twist and Shout

Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. With the other hand, corkscrew the penis. This can be done with the thumb and first finger or with your entire grip.

Anvil Stroke

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top, all the way to the bottom. When you hit the bottom, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the top of the penis and repeat.

Bookends

Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down.

Doorknob

Turn the head of his penis like you’re trying to open an oily doorknob. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. This stroke is sometimes improved by using the other hand to stretch the skin of the penis toward the base.

Double Whammy

Bring your well lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some penises are so big they require both hands; if your partner’s doesn’t, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his testicles, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft then move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you’re holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands: one up, one down at the same time.

Milking

Start with one hand lightly grasping the bottom of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the bottom all the way to the top. When you hit the top, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the bottom of the penis and repeat.

Perpetual Penetration

Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom, letting his penis “penetrate” into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous.

Ring

Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and pump up and down with it. When you get to the top close the ring. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.

Shaft

Stroke only his shaft, ignoring his glans head. You will notice his glans head swelling and turning red. When it’s bright red, use Doorknob, Glans Head Massage, or Perpetual Penetration.

Shuttle Penis

Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding onto the loose skin of the shaft. Do this stroke for a while to allow tension to build.

Spot Pinch

Lightly and slowly run a finger up the underside of his penis. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch, squeeze, nibble and tease that spot.

*as always man does not equal penis and penis doesn’t equal man

21 Tips to Release Self_Neglect and Love Your Self in Action

1. Begin your day with love (not technology). Remind yourself of your worthiness before getting out of bed. Breathe in love and breathe out love. Enfold yourself in light. Saturate your being in love.

2. Take time to mediate and journal. Spend time focusing inward daily. Begin with 5 minutes of meditation and 5 minutes of journaling each morning. Gradually increase this time.

3. Talk yourself happy. Use affirmations to train your mind to become more positive. Put a wrist band on your right wrist. When you’re participating in self-abuse of any form, move the band to your left wrist.

4. Get emotionally honest. Let of go of numbing your feelings. Shopping, eating, and drinking are examples of avoiding discomfort, sadness, and pain. Mindfully breathe your way through your feelings and emotions.

5. Expand your interests. Try something new. Learn a language. Go places you’ve never been. Do things you haven’t done before. You have a right to an awesome life.

6. Enjoy life enhancing activities. Find exercise you like. Discover healthy foods that are good for you. Turn off technology for a day and spend time doing things that make you feel alive.

7. Become willing to surrender. Breathe, relax, and let go. You can never see the whole picture. You don’t know what anything is for. Stop fighting against yourself by thinking and desiring people and events in your life should be different. Your plan may be different from your soul’s intentions.

8. Work on personal and spiritual development. Be willing to surrender and grow. Life is a journey. We are here to learn and love on a deeper level. Take penguin steps and life becomes difficult. One step at a time is enough to proceed forward.

9. Own your potential. Love yourself enough to believe in the limitless opportunities available to you. Take action and create a beautiful life for yourself.

10. Be patient with yourself. Let go of urgency and fear. Relax and transform striving into thriving. Trust in yourself, do good work, and the Universe will reward you.

11. Live in appreciation. Train your mind to be grateful. Appreciate your talents, beauty, and brilliance. Love your imperfectly perfect self.

12. Be guided by your intuition. All answers come from within. Look for signs and pay attention to your gut feelings. You’ll hear two inner voices when you need to make a decision. The quiet voice is your higher self; the loud voice is your ego. Always go with the quieter voice.

13. Do what honors and respects you. Don’t participate in activities that bring you down. Don’t allow toxic people in your life. Love everyone, but be discerning on who you allow into your life.

14. Accept uncertainty. Suffering comes from living in the pain of the past or the fear of the future. Put your attention on the present moment and be at peace.

15. Forgive yourself. Learn from your mistakes and go forward. Use this affirmation, “I forgive myself for judging myself for __________ (fill in the blank i.e.: for getting sick, for acting out, for not doing your best.)

16. Discover the power of fun. Self-love requires time to relax, play, and create face-to-face interaction with others. Our fast-paced world creates a goal setting, competitive craziness that doesn’t leave room for play. Dr. Stuart Brow says, “The opposite of play isn’t work, it is depression.”

17. Be real. Speak up and speak out. Allow yourself to be seen, known, and heard. Get comfortable with intimacy (in-to-me-see).

18. Focus on the positive. Go to your heart and dwell on and praise yourself for what you get right in all areas.

19. Become aware of self neglect and rejection. Become conscious of your choices. Ask yourself several times throughout the day, “Does this choice honor me?”

20. Imagine what your life would look like if you believed in your worth. Dedicate your life to loving you. Make it your main event.

21. Seek professional help. Self-rejection and neglect is painful. You deserve to be happy. You have a right to be accepted and loved. If necessary, seek help from a support group, counselor, or coach. It’s the best investment you can make.

Discovering The Clitoris

My sex ed wasn’t as… damaging? Is that an alright word for it? Not as misinforming as some of the other stories here. But I remember being in elementary school, and fantasizing about Disney princesses at night sometimes and twisting my legs together because it felt good. I tried to stop later on, though, because I thought it was bad.

Then in middle school, I somehow discovered that nipples were awesome. So I started doing that under the sheets. For some reason the feeling of “I’m doing something wrong” was gone by then. My school does basic sex ed in fourth grade with a couple of puberty and menstruation videos. They actually asked us how a woman gets pregnant (myself and someone else guessed that maybe kissing did it), but I can’t remember if they explained it. I remember reading a book called “Baby Being Born” and being fascinated by the pictures, but grossed out by the bit where they described how Baby was actually started.

In eighth grade I discovered the-clitoris.com, and slowly all the jargon and mumblejumble about “Fallopian tubes” and whatnot started to make sense. Sex ed was a constant throughout middle school, but there was no time for questions. It was a couple of videos or a short chat about reproductive organs (focusing mainly on the internal bits) before moving on. I was so confused and freaked out by all the new information about this part of my body that I’d never had to acknowledge before that I didn’t really understand anything. I cried when I got my first period because I had been dreading it for so long and now it was finally here, and I couldn’t escape it. It meant I had changed and I wouldn’t be “normal” ever again.

But, with a plethora of feminist, sex-positive websites that I paged through— Scarleteen, Go Ask Alice, more of The-Clitoris—I started to understand what my vulva looked like. My body started to make more sense. And when I got the courage to start looking down there myself, I gradually became accustomed to what had been a very alien part of me.

The other thing my sex ed never addressed was “normalcy.” I didn’t know it was okay for labia minora to stick out. For a while I didn’t know that my vagina and urethra were two separate entities. And when I started getting into the nitty-gritty of actually touching myself— at first I didn’t even consider it. I was used to how it looked, but I sure as hell didn’t want to touch it.

But, somehow, that changed too. At first I was worried that my clit “didn’t work right,” because the more hetero-oriented pleasure sites kept saying how awesome the clit was. I didn’t get much sensation from it at all. Luckily, Betty Dodson’s website let me know that sometimes it takes a while for those 8,000 nerve endings to figure out what pleasure is.

And currently? I’m still a teenager, but I’m really comfortable with my body, and in my relationship with my partner. We experiment and we talk about it. And guess what? Recently my clitoris started “waking up.” And it’s awesome.

I guess that was a really rambling way of saying that the internet was my sex ed.

Dirty talking

Dirty talking is an art form. When done correctly it can bring pleasure and increase sexual stimulation, done badly it induces fits of giggles (this is not the desired effect!) 

Now, I have always been complimented on by my dirty talk by all of my boyfriends (and girl friends) and have also been known to write a few erotic short stories for a special somebody. I have a mouth and a mind of a sailor and I’m not afraid to show it. And that is rule number one;

Do not be afraid - fear shows in your voice, and especially if you are doing this face to face, seeing you blush a beetroot red isn’t sexy as you gently whisper “oh baby you’re so big”. Now, cute and coy may work, but blushing and embarrassment doesn’t! Just relax and start off gently, work your way up. Think of it just like sex;

Talk about what you enjoy him doing to you/ you enjoy doing to him, how he feels inside you, what you love/like about him most and work your way up to telling each other your fantasies and what you wanna do to him/her next time you see them!

Be open - okay, so he doesn’t have the same fantasy as you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t act it out with words instead of actually doing it. The idea of a threesome turn you off? Simply say; “That’s not something I would do, however, I will tell you what it would be like” and whisper in his ear as you stroke him.

Be imaginative -  just like English class - ADJECTIVES ADJECTIVES ADJECTIVES. Use words like; hot, wet, delicious, soft, hard. Also, describe how you are going to do it, there is no point saying “I’d love to fuck you hard” say something like “I’d love to fuck you hard, you lying on your back whilst I have all the control over you. I’d slowly kiss you, licking your lips gently and work my way down your body until you were begging me to fuck you.” See the difference? Description is key.

Let it flow - Forced dirty talk is nothing but a turn off. If it feels wrong to say it, then don’t! If you’re not comfortable using a certain word, then don’t. You need to be comfortable and relaxed and be completely enjoying what you’re saying. It needs to be natural and not out of character for you.

Practice makes perfect - so you don’t feel as though you are a natural? Practice practice practice! Do it in front of a mirror. Read dirty stories (that is what I put my sailor’s mouth down to). Watch some porn (although do be careful what you choose to use from this - remember is Hollywood!). Talk to your partner about it and sit down and try to think of a sexy story or words together, something that both turns you on and you feel comfortable with. 

Dirty talk can be daunting at first, but when used right, it can ignite all sorts of passion and fire from the both of you which you never knew existed. You can use dirty talk in all types of situations; when you’re in bed and want to get things started, when you’re having sex, having a little dirty phone conversation or text session. Use it to spice up your relationship a little and keep the spark alive. 

I’m in a long distance relationship and dirty talk for me and my boyfriend is the perfect way to relieve some sexual tension/fustration and keep our spark alight through long periods away from each other.

Give it a try and let me know how you get on.

Common Myths About Condoms

Myth #1: Condom use decreases one’s libido, causes impotence, and reduces or interferes with sexual pleasure.

Truth - There is no evidence to suggest that condom use causes impotence. Impotence has many causes, some physical and some emotional. Condoms themselves do not cause impotence.One may only experience problems with keeping an erection while wearing an UNLUBRICATED condom. Some couples may experience a decrease in sexual excitement while stopping to put on a condom, but seriously… wouldn’t you rather have safe sex than have to worry about the risk of pregnancy or an STD/STI?

Myth #2: Condoms can easily get lost in one’s vagina or uterus and can travel through the body, requiring surgery to get the condom out.

Truth - About 2% of condoms break or slip off completely during sex, primarily because they are used incorrectly. Holding the rim of the condom against the base of the penis when withdrawing after ejaculation can prevent the condom from slipping off and into the vagina. In the case that it does slip off, it will not go further than inside the vagina (no surgery needed). If at any point during sex, anyone notices the condom is broken/breaking or has slipped/is slipping, do not hesitate to bring it up! Discuss your options.

Myth #3: Condoms constrict an erect penis, causing premature ejaculation.

Truth - Using a condom does not cause premature ejaculation. Condoms can help users maintain an erection longer and prevent premature ejaculation.

Myth #4: Condoms encourage infidelity, promiscuity, or prostitution.

Truth - Evidence shows that condom use (or any other forms of contraception) does not affect sexual behavior. In fact, using contraception shows responsible behavior in order to avoid unintended pregnancy and STDs/STIs.

Myth #5: Condoms are not effective in preventing pregnancy or STDs/STIs, including HIV.

Truth - Condoms are the only contraceptive method that can protect against both pregnancy and STDs/STIs, including HIV transmission, when used for vaginal, oral, or anal sex. Condoms are most effective WHEN USED CORRECTLY. The risk of pregnancy or contracting STDs/STIs is greatest when condoms are not used correctly with every act of sex. Condoms do not have holes that HIV can pass through. When used consistently and correctly, condom use prevents 80% to 95% of HIV transmission that would have occurred without condoms.

Risk of Pregnancy

Can I get pregnant if I have unprotected sex but the man does not ejaculate (cum)?

It’s probably very unlikely that you will get pregnant, but you can’t know for certain. Three small studies found no motile sperm (sperm capable of reaching/fertilizing an egg) in the fluid in a man’s penis before he ejaculates. However, a more recent study found that 41% of subjects produced pre-ejaculatory samples that contained spermatozoa and in 37% a reasonable proportion of the sperm were motile.

So there’s no harm in using emergency contraceptive pills (also called “morning after pills” or “day after pills”) to put your mind at ease if you are not sure if your partner ejaculated or you are worried because you had sex without using contraception or your birth control failed. Remember that emergency contraception can’t protect you against sexually transmitted infections, like HIV, which has been found in pre-ejaculatory fluid. If there is even the slightest chance that you might be at risk for sexually transmitted infections, be sure to use a condom.

For a thorough and up-to-date academic review of the medical and social science literature on emergency contraception, click here.

One of the problems not mentioned about the pull-out method here, isn’t the pre-ejaculate, it’s that often times the timing is off. A man might pull out ashe coming unintentionally, which is more often than not the likely reason for pregnancy via the rhythm method.